Archive for May, 2010

Website of the Week: “Bros Icing Bros”

Posted in Random on May 26, 2010 by George

This website presents a fun game to play with your fellow law students over the summer when you are not studying or reading briefs. Bros Icing Bros presents some simple rules for the game of “Icing” someone. The gist is basically this: If presented with one of the grossest malt liquor drinks to ever grace the planet – Smirnoff Ice – you must get on one knee, and drink it.

SIMPLE RULES

  1. You cannot refuse an ice. If you refuse to drink the ice you are instantly excommunicated and shunned and thus cannot ever ice another person or be iced.
  2. If you are iced by another person, you can “Ice Block.” When presented with an Ice, you pull out an ice of your own and reverse the ice to the other  person. They drink both. The ultimate ice insult.

Game On.

Bar Exam Preparation

Posted in Law School, Pictures on May 25, 2010 by George

It’s about that time of the year where newly minted law school graduates disappear for 3 months in preparation for the California Bar Exam. Good luck and don’t forget to prepare for your bar exam after the bar exam!

Pocahonatar

Posted in Law, News, Technology on May 20, 2010 by George

After watching this mashup it seems pretty obvious “Avatar” was a beat for beat rip off of “Pocahantas” (“Pocahantas in Space,” if you will).  It’s really quite remarkable how similar these films are. This video reeks of amazing copyright infringement, enjoy!

Most Popular Lawyer First Names

Posted in Law, News, Random on May 19, 2010 by George

For those parents-to-be who want to ensure that their children’s lives are saddled with crushing debt and filled with 90-hour work weeks reviewing irrelevant emails in a windowless room on the 22nd floor of a New York office building,  Avvo, has unveiled a new study on lawyer’s names over the past 200 years.

There are eight names that  appear in the top 20 list for every time period he studied: each decade since the 1950s, 1901-1950, and the Olde Tyme list of attorney names from the 19th century:

1. JOHN
2. ROBERT
3. JAMES
4. DAVID
5. WILLIAM
6. RICHARD
7. THOMAS
8. JOSEPH

Kinda Disappointing GEORGE didn’t make the cut.

An Open (face)Book

Posted in Law, News, Technology on May 19, 2010 by George

Well, if your Facebook profile is public, that means you’re bound to be on Openbook, a search site that scans FB status updates for key words and displays the results. It’s angled to find updates that shouldn’t be so public, like “I cheated,” “I’m drunk,” and “don’t tell anyone.” You can even “like” Openbook. Are you checking your profile settings yet?

The Evolution of Privacy on Facebook

Posted in Law, News on May 18, 2010 by George

Check out The Evolution of Privacy on Facebook. Scary Shit.

An Interesting History Lesson

Posted in Law, Video on May 17, 2010 by George

Elena Kagan = King of Queens

Posted in Law, Pictures on May 12, 2010 by George

Is it just me or does Elena Kagan, Supreme Court nominee, look like Kevin James?

10 Ways to Annoy your Classmates During Law School Final Exams

Posted in Law School, University of San Francisco on May 12, 2010 by George

10.  By all means, clear your throat.  Hack, cough, make sure you are as disgusting as possible.

9.  Chew a big wad of gum and don’t forget to smack your lips.

8.  Trip people as they walk by your desk before the exam.   This will put them in a great mood for test taking.

7.  Before the exam say condescending things to your classmates who look worried or who may be going over last minute notes.

6. Bring in as many things as possible to the testing room.  Even though it’s a 3 hour exam why should you go with out food, water, pictures of your pet and significant other, an idol to obnoxiously pray too, and a pillow to keep you comfortable.

5.  Before the exam make sure to load up on high fiber and starchy foods, this will help you to pass gas throughout the entire exam.

4.  Read your entire exam aloud and don’t forget to sigh, hmm, and say “ah ha!”

3. Sit in the middle of the row and get up to use the restroom several times during the exam.  Be sure to hit peoples chairs each time as you make your way back and forth.

2. Don’t shower before the exam.  Everyone will love smelling your filth as they are trying to get through the fact pattern.

1.  Turn in your test 30 minutes early and as your walking out comment on how easy it was.

Bonus:  Eat, chew, munch!  Sure you could eat before or after the exam but your aim is to be annoying and inconsiderate here.  Make sure your food has noisy packaging too, its completely unnecessary and will accomplish your goal well.

Legal Litter

Posted in Pictures, University of San Francisco on May 11, 2010 by George

An unintentional consequence of finals. Overflowing trash bins. Yuck.

Dear Alumni Office Rant

Posted in Law School, Random on May 11, 2010 by George

Via Best of Craigslist:

Dear University Alumni Office,
I’m sorry to hear that the university’s $750 million endowment has fallen in value to $500 million because of the recession and because your bank died. I’m also sorry to hear that you’re dealing with declining enrollment due to the fact that middle-class families are no longer willing or able to bet their homes on a $45,000-a-year higher education for their children. I really am.
So, what I want to know is, why are you wasting money on glossy fundraising brochures full of meaningless synonyms for the word “Excellence”? And, why are you sending them to ME? Yes, I know that I got a master’s degree at your fine institution, but that master’s degree hasn’t done jack shit for me since I got it! I have been unemployed for the past TWO YEARS and I am now a professional resume-submitter, sending out dozens of resumes a month to employers, and the degree I received in your hallowed halls is at the TOP OF IT and it doesn’t do a fucking thing.
You know, maybe if you wanted a little bit of money from me (and these days you’d get about $3) maybe you should send me a fancy color brochure admitting your role in the bubble economics that got us all in to this mess.
For example, since 1987, higher education expenses have gone up 450 percent, while personal income in this country has gone up 87 percent, making tuition IMPOSSIBLE to afford without special financing. But, during this time, you were thriving because people could come up with the cash in two ways:
1. Get a home equity loan and use the inflated value of their house to pay for their kid to get drunk and/or raped at your school and then lose the house when the market crashed.
2. Get a federal loan.
HAD IT OCCURRED TO YOU THAT NEITHER OF THESE SOURCES OF MONEY ACTUALLY EXIST? THAT IT WAS BEING MANUFACTURED BECAUSE YOU MADE PEOPLE THINK THAT ONE OF YOUR DEGREES WAS NECESSARY TO CLIMB TO THE TOP OF THE BUBBLE?
Oh yes, federal loans. I’ve got $40,000 of those, which are in “forebearance” right now because I’m unemployed, meaning that the feds are paying the interest for a while, which is convenient for me, but not for our government which is now owned by China. You know, the idea behind federal loans was that it would allow more students to attend your university, not let you INFLATE your tuition to obscene levels! I mean, what the fuck were you spending the $16,000 per semester on, anyway? I was in a public policy program, so that meant we got to sit in classrooms and listen to Professor God up at the front of the lecture hall glorify Himself and Creation as He saw it and talk about how much smarter he was than anyone else and how much he’d learned at MIT and the RAND Corporation.
Really, that’s about all you did for us — gave us a lecture hall, gave us an arrogant bastard to listen to, and gave us a room full of computers we could use sometimes, and you gave us a degree that employers look at and say “This guy knows how to write reports. Amusing.” And I will be paying for this privilege until I am 51 years old.
So I’m sorry that the economy’s been rough on you. Maybe, if you wanted to save a little money, you could stop printing and sending brochures to my parents’ house (oh yeah, that’s where I live because I can’t afford rent on ANYTHING). And, maybe I’ll donate a little bit of money to you in 2030, when I get the loans for your imaginary education PAID OFF!

Sincerely yours,
Alumnus

I am not looking forward to graduation.

1L Law Student Pickup Lines

Posted in Law School on May 11, 2010 by George

Here are some law student pickup lines that you might want to use on your fellow law student once finals are over.

  • I will establish minimum contacts with you and then purposefully avail myself all over you.
  • I will adversely possess your regulatory taking.
  • I give you permission to search and seize.
  • Can I use this sensory-enhancing technology to physically intrude on your constitutionally protected area?
  • While we are horizontal show me your vertical privity.
  • Does our future interest include a right of entry.
  • Come over to my jurisdiction so I can serve you nice and proper.
  • Can I physically intrude your expectation of privacy.
  • [Insert Name] touched me and now i’m concerned.
  • The Manillo court would find my Johnson to be more than a minor incursion.
  • You owe me your share of dinner because you failed to meet reasonable expectations based on prior performance.
  • Can I deliberately elicit your information without the presence of counsel?
  • If you say no, I will presume your ineffectiveness.

Don’t worry if you are reading these and you don’t get the lame law school jokes. You either aren’t a law student or you failed one of your 1L courses. Special thanks to PB and friends for the list.

Best. Script. Ever. x2.

Posted in Random, Video on May 10, 2010 by George

These might be the two most random youtube video’s I’ve ever stumbled across, but they are simply amazing, especially during finals. Be Patient and watch it all the way through.

My Favorite Excerpt: My nephew is only 1 year old. He likes to run into the room and shout that he has a “poopy”, menaing a poopy diaper. But he doesn’t acutally have a “poopy”, he has a boner. There is nothing more scary and funny than a baby with a boner, excpet maybe for a monkey with a hand grenade. One minute you are laughing and …saying, “Hey, check out that monkey, he’s got a grenade.” Then the next minute you’re like, “Oh fuck, that monkey has a grenade.” The same thinking applies to babies with boners.”

My Favorite Except #1:I like to pee on homeless people, i can’t help myself. i like to squat right over their heads as they sleep behind dumpsters or in the stair wells of old buildings. i like watching the story their face tells, sometimes they get a deep smile and i know the warm splash of pee is altering their dreams… its not like im marking my territory or anything like that, its my way of giving back to the community.

My Favorite Excerpt # 2:Hold on a second, is your vagina smoking a cigarette?….Yes, she tired using the nicotine gum,  but eventually got the shakes and I kept falling out of my chair. But that’s not what I wanted to talk about. There is a very good chance you could meet a group of wayward Japanese tourists in there. It’s a long story, but their passports have expired, I am worried that one of them may have strep throat. Do you have any cat food you can spoon in?”

Special thanks to KMK for the find.

What the Fuck Should a Law Student Make for Dinner

Posted in Law School, Random on May 10, 2010 by George

I’ve been there. You were just at the library for 12 hours and your diet for the past week has consisted of coffee, Mexican food, and perhaps a bag of candy. You need to cook something yourself because you 1) ran out of money because it’s the end of the semester and 2) you are sick of everything you’ve eaten the past week.

Here’s a solution for all those starving law students out there! Check out “What the Fuck Should I Make for Dinner?” for some nice ideas and good laugh to help you get through law school finals. Enjoy.

Law School Google Game

Posted in Law School, Random on May 10, 2010 by George
Type “United States v.” in the google search bar. Count how many cases you recognize off the top of your head. If you get more than 6 then congrats… you know more Supreme Court cases that are popular by google standards than a C+ student at a low 2nd tier law school.
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