Why Paper Beating Rock is Illogical and Incorrect

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there’s no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can’t paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can’t paper do this to people? Why isn’t notebook paper constantly suffocating students while they take notes in class? I’ll tell you why: because paper can’t beat anybody; a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to beat me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, “Oh shit, I’m sorry. I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!”

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4 Responses to “Why Paper Beating Rock is Illogical and Incorrect”

  1. Perfect sense! This is exactly what I was preaching to these dullards; then again, being the dullards that they are, can you expect for anything more?

  2. When you punch with your rock. I will grab your punch with my paper and slap your face with my paper. And I say “This is how to paper can beat rock,idiot!”

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