Jersey Shore Analogies

J-Woww is to Darryl Strawberry of Reality Television. If we were to make an SAT analogy,  here we could say that having a boyfriend to J-Woww is to Darryl Strawberry is to cocaine. Darryl had a good career provided some excitement with his combination of raw power and speed, much like J-Woww’s short temper, trashy outfits and fake breasts have provided us with great entertainment. Unfortunately, Darryl‘s cocaine use robbed  New Yorkers of his true talent, the same way having a boyfriend robbed us of witnessing  J-Woww’s true talent of hooking up with random juice heads at every possibility. We can thank poor sucker “Tommy the Boyfriend” for robbing J-Woww and the American public of her reality TV hall of fame potential.

Brett Farve is going to go back and forth regarding retirement like Pauley D went back and forth with the Israeli Chick.

When Ronnie goes out to bars with Sammie Sweetheart, it is like a Saber-tooth tiger protecting his cub or like Liam Nilson in Taken trying to get back his daughter who was kidnapped by slave traders while traveling in Europe.

ShamWow is to liquid as J-W0ww is to semen.

“The Situation” followed Method Man’s lyrical advice for women. “If you can’t get yourself a ten, the least you can do is get five two’s.” (at 3 min mark in video)

Angelia’s decision to leave the show is like the Portland Trailblazer’s decision to draft Sam Bowie before Michael Jordan in the 1984 NBA draft.

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino has changed the legal meaning of the word situation like Google transformed internet search into meaning “to google something.”

J-Woww witnessing gorilla central on the boardwalk is like a female cat in heat stuck inside a cage.

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