How Law School Graduates Talk

I noticed yesterday that law school graduates, at least the ones I know, no longer speak traditional English. We now all speak some version of legalese, but it’s not like we’re talking about legal matters. Usually, it’s related to romantic or dating interests.

Here is a partial list of phrases I have heard from recent law school graduates in the past month:

1. “In the interest of full disclosure…” [insert some personal revelation here, like "I'm dating someone else besides you," or "I hooked up last night," or "I got so drunk I spent the night praying to the porcelain gods..."]

2. “I concur.” [to be used instead of "That sounds good to me," or "I agree with what you're saying."]

3. “My docket is full,” or “I have room on my docket.” [referring to people you are dating, and whether you may or may not have room to date additional people]

4. “Was it reasonably foreseeable….?” [that she would have a girlfriend, that the movie would be sold out, that you would bomb the simulated MBE BarBri exam]

and my personal favorite…

5. “I got her to admit that she was constructively dating [insert woman's name].”

6. “It’s great that X wants to date Y, but Y has to want to date X, too. It’s got to be a BILATERAL CONTRACT.”

7. This morning’s gem: “I don’t play ‘hide the ball’ with her” [referencing clear, open communication about relationships.

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